cosmosextips Sporty Spice: Get your ass to a furniture store and buy your guy a plush new couch ASAP! It's the end of NBA playoff season and he DESERVES to be able to watch the final games in comfort! Meet the couch delivery men at your man's place while he's at work so they can secretly tote away his old sofa and replace it with the new one. Unwrap the new sofa and cut open one of the cushions. Remove some of the excess stuffing, then get naked and crawl inside! Have a seamstress on hand to sew it back up, then wait patiently for your man to get home. He will be SO psyched about his new furniture, he'll probably settle into watch a basketball game–he might even invite his friends over for a guys night! There's nothing quite like being naked and sewn inside a couch cushion while a bunch of men sit on you and watch sports. Being able to feel the various pressures of their bodies on yours is the ultimate turn-on. If your man's team wins, it's time to celebrate! Use a small knife that you stored in your pussy to cut a slit in the cushion between his legs. Thrust one hand through the slit and start stroking his dick, and use the other hand to tickle his butt through his jeans. Once he's hard, tear your way through the hole, slice his jeans off with the knife and fuck the shit out of him! If his team loses, the next game's only a few days away so hold out on emerging from the cushion until they bring home a win. The surprise will be worth it, and the fasting will help you lose a few lbs. in the process! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Puff Puff Pass: Gather your sexiest stoner girlfriends (and their boyfriends/crushes/fuckbuddies) at your place for a cute little 4/20 competition. It's time to prove which one of you ladies is the #1 hottest pot smoker in your friend group!!!! Roll up an ounce of weed into a massive, dildo-sized joint. Light it up, and use your vagina to take the biggest puff it possibly can, then let the smoke go with a long queef and pass the dildo joint to the left. The men will score your pussy puffing abilities on a scale of 1-10. Hopefully you've been keeping up with your kegels because this will require your pelvic floor muscles to be SUPER strong. The ladies with the highest numbers will proceed to Round 2: pussy bong rips! The Round 2 finalists get to advance to the final round: a cannabis oil wrestling match! The winner of the match will be crowned the Pot Princess, and she'll get to fuck any of the guys she wants as her prize!!! No man is off the table, and jealousy is NOT allowed. 4/20 is a chill holiday, and no one wants to be the uncool girl in the group. If you happen to lose, be a good sport, cheer the Pot Princess on while she bones your man, and spend the next 364 days kegel-ing away so that next year YOU can take home the 4/20 crown!!! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Final FantASSy: Next time you're in bed with your man, kiss his neck softly and whisper "boy do I have a surprise for you!" Then work your way down to his nipples, alternating sensations by flicking them lightly with your tongue and nibbling on them with your teeth. Play with his balls while kissing his chest and abs, and start to rub his perineum ever so softly. At this point he'll be rock hard, ready for your mouth to take over his cock! Tease his dick with your tongue, then push his legs backwards towards his shoulders so you can toss his salad while you jerk him off. Grab an XXL bottle of lube and pour some into your mouth. Pour the rest it all over your face and sloooooooowwwwwly start pushing your head into your man's ass until you're a human butt plug from the neck up! Take your time. His ass won't be able to handle your entire head right away, so patience and persistence is key! Just maintain a firm (but gentle) pressure while forcing your way in, and keep jerking him off the whole time and eventually you'll get it all in there. When in doubt, add more lube! Once you're officially fisting him with your face, start blowing lube bubbles onto his prostate. Your man will go loco for how good this feels and you will be queen of his ass for all eternity!!!!!!!! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips New Year New V: Kick off the new year with a full vaginal reconstruction surgery! Shop around and find a doctor who will promise to take your pussy to the next level. Not only will you want your hymen restored and things tightened up all around, but you'll also want a labiaplasty in order to refresh its overall appearance. Your brand new vagina will give you a new lease on love AND life! Your man will LOVE popping your fresh cherry once it's all healed up, and if you're single, even better! Every guy's fantasy is to fuck a virgin–that's just a scientific fact! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Miss Fizz: Ring in the New Year with a splash! Right before midnight, grab a bottle of champagne and a funnel and pour it directly into your butt. Now make a sly re-entry into whatever party you're at, and join your fellow revelers in the countdown! Start jumping up and down to shake things up, and when the clock strikes midnight, bend over, pull your underwear down and BLAST the partygoers with the bubbly!!! If you're single, spray your crush so he knows you want a New Years kiss. Pro tip: Get a colonic beforehand to make sure that ass is clean and ready to party! Nothing kills the vibe like poop, unless that's what your friends are into, in which case rock on with your bad self! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips The Seed: Tell your boss you need to take a few months off of work for "personal reasons" then settle in for the long haul–it will be worth it! Pack your vagina with sandy, organic soil and plant several carrot seeds in there. Be sure to water them and fertilize frequently! Skip all your period birth control pills, so Aunt Flo doesn't ruin the grow process. Focus all your energy on maintaining the perfect pH for your vaginal greenhouse. While you're tending to your crop, your man can take care of the bills! When the carrots start pressing on your G-Spot, you'll know it's almost time to harvest! Start masturbating and when you're about to come, release your kegel muscles to force the carrots out of their garden and give you the orgasm of the CENTURY! Rinse the carrots off, chop them up and add it to a delicious, homemade salad or soup for your man. Locally sourced veggies have never tasted so good! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Let It Snow: If it's too cold to have a wild night out, why not have a wild night in?! Buy 10-15 grams of cocaine from your trusted dealer and head over to your man's for a night of fun you'll never forget! Start by doing a couple bumps by a roaring fireplace and rolling around naked on a bearskin rug. Use your man's dick as a Fun Dip and lick that sweet candy off his cock until you're high as a kite. Ride him until he's about to come, then throw a handful of cocaine in his face as he ejaculates on your tits. FLOURBOMB! Do a couple more lines and tell him all about your dark family history from birth until present day. Your man will SO enjoy getting to know you on such an intimate level. Do some more lines and say "I love you. No, like I LOVE YOU. Like, I TRULY love you," over and over for an hour. Argue over who loves the other person more. Do a few more lines and get in a fight! Lock yourself in the bathroom and cry in a hot shower until your man breaks down the door to come in and apologize. Do some more lines and cry-fuck each other while apologizing. Become convinced the FBI is spying on you both. Do a couple more lines and chain smoke while trying to find out where they've installed secret cameras in his house. Decide the cameras are DEFINITELY in his TV and smash it to pieces with a baseball bat, then board up all the windows and doors so no more SPIES can get in. Keep doing lines and "keeping watch" over the house until all the coke is gone, then fall asleep curled up next to each other, shaking, cold-sweating and clutching rifles for protection. Wake up 24 hours later and LOL with your man about the crazy night you two just had. You silly snowbunnies really know how to party, and that's what love is all about! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips The Whores Awaken: Surprise your man by showing up to his house wearing nothing but a huge cape with a massive hood. When he answers the door, pin him against the wall with a light saber dildo and demand to know where he's hiding "the missing piece of the map to find Luke Skywalker." *Hint* It's a butt plug you're making him wear! Tell your man you'll "do whatever it takes to get the map back," then fight him with the dildo until he let's you retrieve it! Celebrate the Resistance victory by letting him dock his Millennium Falcon in your landing bay. If you're ovulating, make sure he's not wearing a shield so you can conceive a BB-8! Actually, don't make him wear a shield either way–there are no condoms in space lol. #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips The Rudolph: On Christmas morning, surprise your man by dressing up like a ball-busting, dominatrix Santa bitch in a red latex bodysuit, thigh high boots and a santa hat. Whip him and order him to get naked on his hands and knees, then put some blinders on him and a ball gag over his mouth! Attach some leather reigns to the sides of the ball gag, and top off his look with some cute little reindeer ears and a red nose that lights up. Now he's your sexy submissive reindeer! Make your man pull you around the house while you sit in a tiny sleigh, blasting your favorite Christmas tunes. Once you're in front of the Christmas tree, give him his present: a giant, double sided glass dildo! Lube up the dildo. Put one end of it inside you and stuff your man's stocking with the other end until he "let's it snow" all over the place! Afterwards, snuggle up on the couch and watch the entire season of Making A Murderer, the show EVERYONE'S talking about! Is it just me or is Steven Avery kind of hot? Discuss! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Gunderwear: Let's face it ladies, NOTHING is hotter than a man with a big, bad gun!!!! Head over to your local gun store to buy your man a beautiful gift he'll never forget! Locate the scariest looking employee (make sure it's a guy) and tell him a little bit about your man's personality. Include important details such as your man's astrological sign, dick length/girth, and whether he's right-handed or left-handed so the gun guy can recommend a sexy firearm that your man will love! Buy the gun ON THE SPOT, along with several boxes of bullets! If they have a waiting period, get the hell out of there and find an arms dealer who will arrange a trade of 1 gun for 1 blowjob. Blowing someone in the Christmas spirit doesn't count as cheating! Have the gun engraved with a sweet message, and wrap the gun, the bullets and a six pack of Gundies™ in a festive box with kittens on it and put it under the tree. Your man will be so surprised when he opens his "silly" gift on Christmas morning to reveal the masculine presents inside, that he'll want to do a "thank you" strip tease with his new gear. Next stop: gun play in the bedroom!!! Bang bang! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Put Me In, Coach: Next time you and your man are in the throes of passion, look into his eyes and whisper ask him if he'd ever have a threesome with you and another guy. If he says yes, grab a whistle out of the nightstand and blow it as loud as you can to signal the hot, bisexual dude you found on Grindr to come in the bedroom and get ready to RUMBLE, aka fuck your man senseless! Your man might be freaked out at first, so it's your job to encourage him and make him feel as comfortable as possible. Take his hands, look deeply into his eyes and say "This isn't about being gay, this is about exploring butt stuff. YOU GOT THIS!" Then give him a little sporty spank, and sound an airhorn! Warm him up by tossing his salad for a few minutes, then, when he's ready, have Bi Hottie-Prinsloo get on top of him. When his dick slides into your man's butt, high five your man enthusiastically, then hold his hand and look deep into his eyes. Once the fucking is underway, press play on a boombox next to the bed and start blasting Jock Jams Vol. 1! This will keep things upbeat and also remind him to stay in the zone. If he starts to tire, take a halftime break and have a squad of sexy cheerleaders to come in and do a dance to Whoomp! (There It Is). Your man will feel so special knowing how much thought you put into his first butt journey, that you'll have MANY more to look forward to in the future! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Floating Fantasy: For a delightful date night, make your man take you to the local county fair! Buy a corn dog and eat it sexily while you explain that you want to be floated on The Gravitron™. To clarify, "floating" is when a guy sticks his dick inside you and doesn't move it at all...and if you don't know what The Gravitron™ is, Google it, dumb dumb! In order to successfully float you once the ride is in motion, your man will have to fight a centrifugal force that's 3x the force of gravity! He'll need to crawl over to where you're pinned to the wall, mount you, get his dick out, get hard, unzip your pants, take them off and insert his penis into your vagina and keep it in there for 10 seconds, or else! Run your lips along the corn dog and tell your man that if he really loves you, he'll make this dream of yours come true, then bite off the tip to show him you mean business!!! Now it's time to get in The Gravitron™ and put his love to the test! If he pukes, passes out or dies it's game OVER. Dump him on the spot because he clearly isn't that into you. However, if he successfully floats your boat 😉, celebrate by enjoying the rest of your night at the fair!!!!!!! Play some games, have him win you a huge stuffed animal, eat some funnel cake and turkey legs and DON'T forget to make out on the ferris wheel. #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Under The Sea: It's time to take your love life to new depths! Secretly take scuba diving lessons until you become certified, then give your man the following ultimatum: take me to Mexico ASAP or it's OVER! Once you've touched down in Mexico, arrange a scuba diving lesson for the two of you on a private boat. Slip the instructor a $20 ahead of time, and have him drive the boat away once you're both in the water. You don't need a teacher to show your man the ropes, you've got this girl! Grab your man's hand and dive down at least 20 feet. Distract him by pointing out some cute fish and coral, and when he isn't looking, tie an anchor around his ankle and drop it! Once he's tethered to the ocean floor, perform a sexy, underwater striptease! Once you're totally naked (except for your oxygen tank) cut a hole in your man's wetsuit, pull his dick out and tease him with air bubbles until he gets rock hard. Now grab ahold of him and fuck his brains out! If you want to make the sex really wild, have the scuba instructor circle back with the boat and toss some chum in the water to attract sharks! The extreme sex coupled with his love of shark week will make for an ocean romp he'll NEVER forget! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips The Troll Job: If your man is trying to do something annoying like watch Monday Night Football, it's time to derail him with a blowjob he'll never forget! When he starts to go for the remote, intercept his grip and lead his hand to his own package, encouraging him to rub himself until he gets hard. Kneel down in front of him and slowly unbutton his pants while murmuring "let me tell you a little something about football..." Start by licking his shaft softly and sexily whispering statistics about Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, a brain disease linked to repeated head trauma! Press on his perineum while moaning the names of known domestic abusers such as Ray Rice and Greg Hardy! Take it up a notch by yelling "OJ Simpson!!!!!! Aaron Hernandez!!!!!!" (murderers) and "Michael Vick!!!!!" (convicted dog fighter) while tickling your man's prostate. After he cums, look down at his penis, wink at him and say, "Now that's what I call a deflategate!" Then tell him if he ever wants to watch football again he'll have to refer to you as "Tom Brady" in front of all his friends, and wiggle the finger that's still in his ass so he knows you mean BUSINESS! Your Monday nights are sure to be football free from here on out! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Total Knockout: Time to take Southpaw from the big screen to the bedroom! Go to your trusted plastic surgeon and have him inject 1000ml of Juvederm® directly into your clit!!!!!!!!!!! Buy a pussy pump and go to town on your engorged lady part until it's as big as a punching bag! Now strap some boxing gloves on your man and get ready to cum all day and all night!!!! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Let The Rain Cum Down: Next time a thunderstorm is rolling in, grab your man and lead him outside to a wide open space. Now get on your knees and go to suck town! The feeling of rain on his shaft and balls combined with the sexy, dangerous vibes of Mother Nature will drive him wild! When he's fully hard, slide a metal cock ring onto his dick. Make sure it's snug! Now tickle his taint, and while his eyes are closed in the throes of ecstasy, tie a kite with a small key attached to it onto the cock ring. Keep sucking, and keep tabs on how close the storm is by noting the length of time that elapses between lightning and thunder. When the storm is at its peak, take your beej into overdrive and slip a finger into your man's ass! When he starts to cum, stop the blowjob and run away from him as fast as you can, holding the kite. Release it and let it fly into the heart of the electrical storm! ⚡️ When lightning strikes the kite, it will deliver the shock of a lifetime to the cock ring around your man's dick, giving him an orgasm he'll NEVER forget!!! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Help Me Help You: Find a sexy, damaged alcoholic/drug addict with a heart of gold and resolve to be the girl who makes him change his ways! Start by ignoring all the warning signs that he might not be great for you, and sleep with him IMMEDIATELY. Throw yourself into loving him fully and deeply, despite his tendency to blackout 4-5 nights a week. So what if he's been arrested a handful of times? He's a sexy bad boy! What do you expect?! Okay, yes, maybe he had a light heroin addiction or a bout with crack that led to him living in a motel room for a week and getting scabies from a hooker...who cares! His crack stories probably make him a smash hit at dinner parties! Bonus points if he's in a band, is an artist, a surfer or works on Wall Street. No matter what happens, do NOT break up with him. If your man loves you he'll change for you, girl! And that's worth a lifetime of waiting, even if it means driving him to rehab 10 times or snorting crank once in awhile just to feel closer to him. #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Scavenger Cunt: Grow out your pubes for at least six months until you have a healthy, full bush! In order to achieve maximum fluff potential, make sure to comb it every day. Now, start hiding little presents in there for your man to find when he's going down on you! Some cute ideas: an Apple watch, a Swiss army knife (guys love these), a fortune cookie, a mini liquor bottle of your man's favorite hooch, Altoids, cuff links, a note that says "Do you like me? Check yes or no," broccoli (gotta sneak in some veggies any way you can so your man can get big and strong, am I right?!), beef jerky (protein), a pocket copy of the New Testament, a teeny little bottle of Tabasco sauce, or a small scented candle! Your vag will be the gift that keeps on giving! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Mama Mia: Tell your man that dinner's on you tonight and take him out for a delish meal at Olive Garden! When you get to the restaurant, make him slip the hostess a $20 and request a private room. 😉 Once you're alone it's time to get frisky! Order a nice bottle of red wine and a Shrimp Fresca™ appetizer (new menu item!!!!) to start, and before you hand feed the shrimp to your man, take each one, rub it on your nipples, then make him lick the juices off. Yum! Now order some breadsticks and dipping sauces. Mmmmm mmmm good. When they arrive, pull a strap-on out of your purse and put it on. Attach a breadstick to the dildo area and fuck your man's face with it! He will LOVE the role reversal moment. Make him "blow" all the breadsticks and when they're gone, celebrate by jizzing alfredo sauce all over his face! For your entrees, order the Tour of Italy™ and just eat it! It's so good you won't want any to go to waste, trust. When the check comes, tell your man you "forgot your wallet." He'll be in such a good mood after your private meal that he definitely won't mind getting the bill! #CosmoSexTip

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cosmosextips Just Call Me Pearl: It's time to combine your love of jewelry and your man's dick in a fab and flirty way! Take a few sexy photos of your man into your local tattoo parlor and have the artist ink a life-sized replica of his penis EXPLODING all over your collarbone, and becoming a pool of cum that drapes delicately around your neck. During the healing process, hide your new tattoo by wearing turtlenecks and totally avoiding sex for at least 2 weeks. Your man may be a little confused, but what he doesn't know is that the surprise of his life is right around the corner! Once your love tat is scab-free, invite all your mutual friends over for a dinner party. Just as everyone's about to dig into the delicious meal you've prepared, raise your glass and make a toast to your man, then rip off your shirt to reveal the masterpiece that lies underneath! If your man doesn't throw you over his shoulder and take you straight to the bedroom, you better book a couple's therapy appointment STAT because something is definitely wrong with him. #CosmoSexTip

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